Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Cracked

Ever since she was young, Dahlia 
wondered
about everything. She was 
full of wonder, yet 
somehow she felt less
than wonderful. 
Less than.
Those words often stuck
with her like some 
sort of treacherous taffy, 
clinging to the every corner 
of her mind. 
Corners. She thought. 
Why is it that the corners
are most easily cracked?
Like dried Winter lips 
or cuticles. 
It is as if the coming together—
the union—leaves them
that much more vulnerable.
This was a theme for Dahlia. 
Why was it that she always
felt this exposed weakness, 
this dependence, 
whenever she came 
together
with a new lover—
and then inevitably 
came undone?
Leaving her more fragile than
when she began.
A heap on the floor—small
and wide-eyed—like 
a child swimming
in his father's business suit. 
Sleeves pouring over tiny hands, 
so no one can reach them.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

falling

fall. fall back. 
fall back into yourself.
back into your being,
your center. scurry.
get ready for the brumal 
future. let go. 
let go of everything 
which no longer serves
you. remember
to breathe. breathe in the new.
breathe in the crisp cold change. 
be grateful. be open. 
do not close up 
your lasting warmth.
your warm heart. 
use this beating 
furnace and call on
loved ones to gather
around it. remember
to hold to the center
amidst the ebb
and flow.
this time is change.
this time is
the present. 
be present. 
know the beauty that is
to be found all around you.
breathe it in,
let it encircle your entirety.
then let it go—willingly. 
do not hold on—knuckles
white and fatigued fingers
curled. it will all come back
and leave again 
and again in new form.
just fall.

Monday, November 8, 2010

俳句

needles pierce the skin
she feels them on the left side
escape—for a time 

Sunday, November 7, 2010

closer

basement of a 
coffee shop
sheltered from the 
rain
the song comes on 
poignant
the song that grabs
pulls
me back 
two years ago 
walking in sheets
of rain 
"she took my heart"
listening to this 
song 
tears escaping
walking 
the sweetest misery
torn
"i think she took my soul"
trapped
in deterioration
and unrealized 
expectations
how to
escape?
but now it makes me
smile and ache
"baby where do i sleep?"
could it ever be
did you know
how i felt back then 
i dreamed of you 
my friend
"with the moon I run far"
your intoxication 
your dark beautiful 
energy 
pulling me in while 
simultaneously pushing 
me far away
you are the master of
coinciding contradictions
i know that now 
how long ago it all seems 
"from the carnage of the fiery sun"

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

electric fences

the soles of my shoes 
kiss the rain-soaked
cement and torn leaves
leading up to my 
building

i look up
regarding the roof that 
welcomed your keys
that day when sun 
and anticipation
were abundant 

some parts of me know logic
they studied it extensively
with a focus in authenticity 

but others, little sparks,
break off
with different intentions

they are pulled to
my magnetic heart 
infusing me with 
romantic could-have-beens, 
theatric tragedies
and tortured visions

i imagine
in the distance i see you
running
full speed 
towards me

but wait
this would never happen
you would never run
you would come close 

but ultimately you could not 
pick up your pace
for fear 
of falling

your fist opens and
dried yellow roses 
are furiously 
released behind you

can you see me
from there?
the best parts?
not the mundane 
humdrum puttering
can you see my intent?

but then
the closer i get
the more out of focus 
you seem

and i question
it all
question myself

things are not
black and white
and these shades
keep expanding,
fusing

so perhaps we will glimpse
each other another day
from behind our 
electric fences